My New Mom
by mioor
Summary: Bella goes to Esme to talk, because of how sad she is, and Esme's always there for her 3 No femslash, terrible summary, good story. Rated T because of possible later chapters w/ language, maybe, and because I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Hi everyone, this is my first fanfic, I hope you like it, please review with your thoughts! Thanks to rachelcullenedward Cullen for reviewing this chapter! Hopefully I will be updating every week, or more, depending on, first of all if anybody reads it.

This story is going to start as a bonding with Bella and Esme, no femslash.

Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters

Bella POV

Sighing heavily, I hoisted myself out of my truck, and started up the concrete pathway to the house. I opened the door, and dropped my backpack onto the floor, wandering into the kitchen and grabbing a bag of chips, before heading up the stairs, and I sat down on my bed, before falling back to lay on my back. I sighed, and asked myself,

"What are you going to do Bella? You have one day left before you'll be held captive." The majority of the Cullen family was going on a hunting trip, so I would be staying with the one remaining member, Esme. I love Esme, she's my mother, essentially. Renee was never really a parent to me, almost the other way around. I still love Renee, with both of them I feel loved, but with Esme, I feel safe, too. Protected. But all the same, I didn't like feeling trapped like a prisoner. It isn't right to do that to anyone, let alone your girlfriend!

Suddenly, a thought came to me; something to do, finally. I walked to my dresser, and grabbed another sweatshirt, along with a rain coat, and slipped both on, looking out the window. It wasn't raining, but it was overcast, like always. Forks wasn't one for the sun. I traded out my flats for tennis shoes, and carefully walked down the stairs, and out the door, locking it behind me, slipping the key into my pocket. I stepped off the porch, and around to the back of the house, before venturing off into the woods. Back in the shed we used to use for storing wood, I pulled out my motorcycle, along with a box of emotions, which pulled relentlessly at my heartstrings, but I ignored them. I started to remember him, and everything he'd said to me last time I saw him. I shook my head quickly, trying to shake off the memory. To my surprise, it worked.

I took the bike along the semi worn path, pushing it beside me, until I had reached the road, and fired it up, swiftly speeding up, taking back roads, past Forks city limits, past La Push. I'm not sure how long I was driving, but it was awhile, maybe 45 minutes. I just kept driving, until I saw a sign that said Green's Market, Beach ½ Mile. At that, I slowed, and took the turn onto the gravel drive. The weather had stayed the same through most of the drive, it was now a dark, foggy overcast, but it was in this weather that I was most comfortable. I could see the ocean from the path, it was dark and stormy, as if the water itself was a deep shade of gray.

I kept on riding until I reached a parking lot, stopping the motorcycle in one of the empty spaces, and putting the kickstand down. I then turned and walked into the little building opposite the lot, and was rewarded by warm air. I took a look around, while zipping the bike's keys into my jacket.

Inside the store, there were two rows with snacks, and two walls of coolers, one of them sodas, waters, and things of the sort, the others alcohol. The cash register was on a rather crude setup; a table that wrapped around into an 'L' shape. The table was cluttered with many things. Despite the odd quirks to the store, I rather liked it; it was a mom and pop shop; it felt homey. The person sitting next to the register was a boy, maybe 16 years old, with a ruggedly shaved head, and was wearing shorts and a cutoff t-shirt, and he was flipping through a muscle car magazine.

I walked up to the cooler, and grabbed a coke, before quickly looking over the candy racks, and got a bag of cookies, before walking up to the register. He manually put in the prices, and gave me my total. I handed him the money, and stuffed the rest into my jean's pocket, brushing aside a stray hair from my face, before turning and walking back out the door, thanking him on the way out.

I kept up my slow pace, past the bike, and along the track to the beach, which was a fairly short distance. There were large rocks littered about, and I sat against one, my knees pulled up to my chest, and rested my chin against them, allowing my head to flop to the side. I opened the soda, the crisp clean sound of opening the bottle like music to my ears. I lifted the bottle to my lips, and took a nice long drink. It burned a bit as it went down, but it tasted so good. I didn't usually have soda. I gazed out over the ocean, and lost myself in thoughts.

Before I knew it, I was crying, I couldn't stop. So there I sat, just crying. No one around, just me, the ocean, and a world of memories.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N, Hey everyone, I really hope you like this story, because I was up until three in the morning writing it :D this chapter along with two more. If I get 5 reviews on this chapter, I will post chapter 3. Let me know what you guys think of this chapter, I love commentary good and bad. By the way, my name is Julie. Just throwing that in there incase yall are curious. You can see more about ME at my profile, I'm hoping to update it today. So, Bella's at the beach huh? What do you thinks going to happen next? Only one way to find out! See you at the bottom!**

**A/N- Oh, and by the way you guys, I decided on a chapter day schedule: Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Hope you like it J but today is an exception J Now I will go away and let you read.**

**I don't own Twilight or any of the characters.**

Bella's POV

I'm not so sure how long I sat there frozen, but I felt like it could've been hours. Suddenly, I was aware of footsteps, oncoming, though I didn't look. Someone sat down next to me, silently. I was a bit afraid, but I quieted those thoughts, as I brought my hand up to my eyes, wiping the last of the tears away, sitting myself up straighter. Finally, I looked over to my right where the mystery person had sat. I was met with forest green eyes staring back at me, a hint of a smile on his pale ruby lips. It was the boy from the shop. For a moment, we sat there, neither talking, neither moving, just sitting in silence, sharing a moment of understanding. He was the first to break the silence.

"Hey." He spoke. No harshness in his voice, it was smooth. He spoke with sincerity, looking over to me. He was sitting against the rock, which rose above our heads about a foot, close to me, but still giving me my space, which I liked. His elbows rested on his knees, which were almost pulled to his chest, his hands clasping together. His gray pullover sweatshirt went well with his dark blue denim shorts and black belt. I guess he'd decided it was cold enough to wear a pullover.

I nodded my head at his statement once, showing acknowledgment, but not totally trusting my voice. He persisted with the conversation though.

"It's pretty cold out here. Not the best place for anyone to be alone at, really. What're you doing out here by yourself?" He asked me. I cleared my throat before responding,

"Life has just been getting to me lately. Needed some time to think." I stated.

"Ah." He simply said, but then continued on, "I like to take time out here to think to. The waves are loud enough to the point where you can drown out other noises, but quiet enough so you can just focus on your own thoughts." I nodded my head in agreement, and asked,

"Yeah. You got any idea how long I've been here?" I quizzically asked. I was genuinely curious. I'd need to get home eventually, but it was so calm here right now, I didn't want to leave.

"Well, you came into the shop 'round four, and it's quarter till six now." He told me, after verifying with his watch.

"Hmm. I should probably get going soon. I'll just leave at six." I said, not to him in particular, just stating plans in case anyone cared.

"So, if you're going to be leaving so soon, what's your name? It's a pretty small town we got here, and almost everyone has been at my Granddad's store at one time or another. You new here?" He asked me, and I replied:

"Oh, sorry, I'm Bella. I actually drove down here from Forks, the beaches we have up there are nice I guess, but I don't have the best experience with them, so… I decided to come out here." I flinched at my old memories from La Push. I couldn't go back there again. I changed the subject. "What's your name by the way?" I asked, a little too quickly, but luckily he didn't seem to notice.

"I'm Jason." He told me, smiling when he said that. I couldn't help but smile with him. "So. Forks, huh? Pretty long drive. Especially with that bike of yours. I have a truck at the house, if you want I could give you and your bike a lift home. I just don't want you to get into a wreck or get lost on your way home."

"Um… No thanks, I think I'll be able to manage, but thanks so much for the offer," I said, not wanting to be rude. I stood up, brushing myself off, and he followed my lead. I began slowly wandering toward the parking lot, Jason in tow, and we carried on a quiet conversation as we went.

It took twice as long to get back as it had for me to get there, but that was OK, I was enjoying Jason's company. When I stepped up onto the concrete sidewalk, I looked up and noticed my bike was the only vehicle in the lot. I was a bit confused.

"Where's your truck?" I asked Jason, confusion in my voice.

"Oh, I don't make so much at the store, so I usually just walk to and from here. It's no big deal." He said, shrugging. I didn't feel quite right about just leaving him there, so I offered him a ride home, and he graciously accepted. It was a five minute drive to his house, me as the driver. I pulled up to the house, and it was a decent size, not to big, not to small. It was a light shade of blue. He got off the bike, and nodded my way in thanks, before walking up to his house, and up the two porch steps, turned and waved, before going through the door, and closing it behind him.

I was sad to see him go. He seemed to be my only normal friend, even though I'd met him twenty minutes ago. After gazing at the house for a brief moment, in one quick movement, I re-started the bike, and was speeding away from his driveway; I couldn't bear to stay any longer. So, home-bound I sped, tears once again streaking my face.

**A/N- Different ending huh? I hope you liked this chapter, if you did, you should leave me a review, also follow the story, because I have more chapters on the way! That's it for now guys, but I hold on my promise; five reviews, new chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- I would first of all like to thank rachelcullenedward cullen for being my amazing beta, you should check out her other story Torn and Tattered, which I am betaing for her. I hope you like this chapter, if you have a minute, please post a review :) Thanks again, I won't make this A/n terribly long, but I hope you like the chapter!**

**It's Friday finally! Hope you like the chapter! **

**I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. Sadly.**

Bella POV

It took another 45 minutes to get home, and luckily, Charlie wasn't back yet.. I put my bike back, and hurried into the house, and made a quick dinner for Charlie, re-heating leftover lasagna from yesterday, and leaving it in the microwave for him. Afterwards, I walked up into my room, and grabbed my shower basket, along with pj's and a towel. I proceeded into my bathroom, and jumped into the shower, washing my hair and face, along with my streaked mascara.

Since I didn't want to have another emotional breakdown in the shower, I finished up quickly before steeping out into the cruel air. I grabbed my towel and dried myself before dressing, going on to blow drying my hair and putting it up into a clip. I moisturized my face, gathered my things, and headed back to my room, picking up a book off the shelf, and sat in my bed, reading. I glanced over to the clock; 7:30 p.m. it told me. Great, I can either read or go to bed early. I've read all of these books already I thought to myself, shrugging.

I stood, and turned off my light, after looking over to make sure the window was open. It was strange that Edward wasn't here yet, but I brushed this thought aside, he'd be here soon. I climbed into bed, and once I was beneath the covers, it was as if I instantly fell asleep, but it wasn't a peaceful night. I tossed and turned, terrible nightmares working their way into my brain, things I can't begin to describe. I suddenly felt arms around me, embracing me, urging me awake.

I finally opened my eyes to look up to see Edward anxiously peering into my face. I sat up, hugging him tightly, which he returned without question.

"Are you alright Bella?" He asked me, still concerned about my nightmare. I nodded my head, an assuring smile on my face. He visibly relaxed, and I gave myself a silent pat on the back. I was getting pretty good at this lying stuff. In all honesty, my nightmare was horrible. I was with Victoria, and Edward was gone, dead at my feet along with the rest of the Cullen family. And soon, I too was dead, along with the rest of them, slowly and painfully, I was murdered in my nightmare, the blood pouring from wounds she inflicted upon me. I shook these thoughts off, and lifted a hand, running it through my silky soft hair. I asked,

"What time is it Edward?" he looked down at his watch at a speed slightly faster than a human could manage; he was getting a lot better, trying to move slower for my sluggish human brain.

"It is a quarter to four. I was actually about to leave now; Emmett wants to leave early so we can hit Alaska by eight. Charlie's already left, I could give you a ride over to the house if you'd like." Charlie thought that I was spending the weekend with Alice, but what he didn't know the exact details to wouldn't hurt him, I told myself.

"Uh, yeah sure, just give me a couple minutes. I'll get my things packed, and change clothes. You know, normal human things." I said, reminding him that I need a bit longer than normal. I chuckled, as I stood, going over to my closet to grab my duffel bag, which I set on my desks' chair. I loaded it up with clothes I would need, plus a book, and took my bag of toiletries to the bathroom to freshen up a bit, not doing much, just loosely braiding my hair and brushing my teeth.

Afterwords, I wandered back into my room, placing the bag into the duffel. I opened the top drawer to my desk, looking inside at my journal. I pondered for a moment on whether or not to take it. Well, I did want to talk to Esme this weekend, right? I went ahead and brought it along, too. I threw one last change of clothes right on top for later today, there wasn't a point in changing now; I would just fall asleep there. So with one last look around the room, I grabbed my shoes and threw them in too, just to be safe. I put on a fresh pair of socks, knowing Edward would carry me to the truck, zipped up the bag, and looked expectantly to him.

"Ready to go?" He asked me.

"I guess so," I replied, ending in a yawn. He chuckled, and swiftly picked me up with his right arm, carrying me as a little girl would her doll, and slung the duffel over his other shoulder, and leaned down towards me, planting a sweet, gentle kiss onto my lips. He ran out the door at speeds no human could ever reach. I blinked, and I was in the passenger seat of my now started truck, as he backed out the drive, turning to head towards his house.

I attempted to make conversation, but I was lulled into a sleepy daze the whole drive, until we pulled up to the house, where I more or less fully woke up. I was carried inside, and set on my own two feet, panicking for a minute because I was thrown off balance, until another set of cold stone arms steadied me from the back. I turned, and there was Esme, with a brilliant smile on her face. She spoke,

"Good morning Bella, how are you doing?" I pulled open my lids to get a good look at her.

"It's not morning yet." I replied, in a sleepy haze. I briefly remember Edward as wells as the other Cullen's, saying goodbye to me as the left the house. Well, I thought. Now I have today, Thursday until Monday to talk to Esme. But that could wait. It felt like all of a sudden, but I was led to a couch, where Esme sat on the end, and I lay with my head against her, lounging upon the remainder of the couch. I was covered by a blanket, and was out like a light.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Hey guys, hope everyone is doing well. In this chapter, Bella spends some time with Esme, hope you like it :) I would again like to thank rachelcullenedward cullen for being an amazing beta, I hope you guys liked the chapter and are enjoying the story :D Please review if you have a minute, I'd love to hear what you guys think :)**

**I was feeling generous today, thought I'd give you another chapter! Pelase review :) Hope you like**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, except Jason, but that sexy beast is mine, so dibs. **

Bella POV

When I woke up, I was alone on the couch, which saddened me a bit; I liked sitting next to Esme. I assumed it was about nine, because the clouds that I could see through the monstrous bay windows were whiter than normal. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, before I spied my duffel bag near the front door. I stood slowly, slightly using the couch for support, and then walked over to my bag, sitting myself next to it on the cold tile, and I shivered. Unzipping the bag, I grabbed a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a hairbrush out of the bag, setting them onto my change of clothes, and headed to the powder room.

After changing and fully waking up, as much as I could, I took my things back to my bag, closing it, and then allowed myself to wander into the kitchen where I had smelt the aroma of bacon and eggs.

Sure enough, once I sat down at the bar, Esme placed an enormous plate of food in front of me. I balked, I couldn't eat that much food! I started to tell her this, but the expectant and hopeful look in her eyes silenced me, so instead I said,

"Thank you so much Esme, this means a lot, and it looks really, really good." She smiled, replying,

"Oh, thank you Bella. So, what would you like to do today, after you eat?" She asked with her kind voice. I thought for a minute, before deciding.

"Hmm, Esme?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"Do you think you would tell me about… about how you designed this amazing house?" I asked, silently cussing myself out for chickening out on asking her the real question. She seemed a bit quizzical, I could tell she knew I was lying, but it seemed that she overlooked it today.

"Why sure Bella, I'd love to. And you like books right?" She asked me, I replied,

"Yeah, I love books, always have. Why do you ask?" I questioned her, curious.

"Oh, I was thinking that maybe after I could show you a few of my favorites. Also, if you're interested, I started a story once myself. Couldn't bring myself to finish a whole book. No one else has read it yet, but if you'd like to, that would be fine with me." She told me, and smiled when my eyes lit up.

"I would absolutely love to read it Esme!" I told her. She laughed, and told me after I finished my breakfast that we would go up to her office. I hurried to finish my breakfast, and afterwards took my plate to the sink, despite Esmes' protests to allow her to. After the dishes were washed, I was led up one flight of stairs, and into Esmes' breathtaking office. It was downright gorgeous. No other words to describe it. It had the perfect shades, and furniture. Bookshelves lined the two side walls, and a mahogany desk stood near the back of the room, with comfortable chairs, and last but not least, a balcony with its' own table and chair set.

I wandered around for a moment in awe, until Esme silently handed me a stack of papers, not looking me in the eye. Suddenly I wondered what Esmes' story was about. She never said, and now she's acting pretty weird now.

"Do you mind if I go read on the balcony?" I asked her.

"Go right ahead Bella," She said, gazing into the distance, a sad lonely smile playing at the corners of her lips, which just made me want to go over and hug her, but I restrained myself. I walked outside, and settled myself into the comfortable plush lounger, and I began to read.

It took me about thirty seconds into starting the main portion of the story until I had tears soaking my face. Wow, I was crying way too much lately. I wasn't crying because of the story itself, sad or angry, it was so beautiful. So great, emotion filled, that I couldn't help it. I read on, until the last page. It wasn't very long, only five pages long, but by the end, I was sitting on the floor, curled into a ball, hugging my knees to my chest for all I was worth, trying desperately to stop the sobs wracking my body. I was surprised Esme hadn't come outside yet, but I figured she was simply giving me my space.

Eventually, I calmed myself slightly, I was still openly crying, but there weren't shudders running through my body with every breath anymore, so I stood up, and opened the door, walking back inside. Esme was pacing the floor, and looked up at me as I walked inside, a worried, concerned look plastering her features.

"That's beautiful, Esme. Just beautiful." I told her, my voice cracking at the end, as I walked out of the room, back down to the living room, and sat on the couch, staring outside into the trees, still crying. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. Esme gently said,

"Bella…,"

**A/N- Little cliffy, mehehe. I am evil. Hate me. Well, what did you guys think? Let me know in a review :D**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Hey guys! So, so, sooooo sorry for how long it's taken me to update, I just got this chapter done today. It's SUPER short, but I needed to end it where I did. I also want to apologize for the two A/N I put in as chapters. Thanks to Thiree for answering the second A/N, and as always, a big thanks to rachelcullenedwardcullen for being the awesome beta she always is! See you at the bottom!  
"Umm… Hi." I told her, my face still hidden.  
"Bella, I think that we need to talk." Her tone was soft, but it was set in a way that I knew I wouldn't be getting out of this. She looked down on me with sad eyes.  
"Do you want to now?" I hesitantly asked her.  
"Wouldn't that be best?" She replied. I just slowly nodded my head, not meeting her eyes. Suddenly, cold arms were picking me up.  
At a normal human's pace, she walked up the stairs, all the way to the top floor, and into her bedroom she sat me down against the pillows, sitting next to me, and even though I stared straight ahead, hating myself for the silent tears streaming down my cheeks, I could still feel Esme's expectant gaze on me.  
"Esme… I don't know how to begin to tell you everything." I told her. It was a start I guess.  
"Bella honey, you can tell me anything, you know that right? No one else is home, it's only you and me, you can talk to me," She consoled me, begging me to tell her. I nervously twisted my hair in my fingers, not sure what to do. I knew that telling her would be the right thing to do, but I didn't know if I could do that. I just… what if she hated me? What if she told him? Or the rest of the family for that matter?  
"I don't know if I can, Esme." I sadly told her, wiping away tear drops.  
"Just start from wherever you can think of right now." She pleadingly told me, wanting me to stop hurting.  
"Esme," I quietly told her, "I'm pregnant."

A/N Hey! Little bit of a cliffy eh? Well, review and tell me what you guys think! I also forgot to mention this in the above A/N, I am changing my schedule to every Wednesday, unless I am feeling particularly generous, then MAYBE more often ;) The reviews never hurt either! Lol Hope you guys liked the chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N – Hey you guys! I hope everyone is doing well! Last chapter was a bit of a shocker huh? I'm glad you all liked it! It was a challenge to figure out exactly how to write that chapter, which is why the update took so long, but I hope now I will be back on my Wednesday posting schedule. Now, this is your warning, these next chapters aren't pretty, Bella has some issues to work through, don't like don't read, message me if you have any concerns about what's in the story. Well, I hope you all like it, I will see you at the bottom!

I do not own Twilight

I buried my face in my hands, full of shame. I knew that Esme was full of shock, but she seemed to recover quickly, taking my hands in both of hers, forcing me to look up at her.

"Bella… how is this possible? Does Edward know? Is it Edwards'?" She asked all of these at once, but gently. I sniffled, accepting the tissue she offered to wipe my nose. Then I began,

"No, it's not Edwards, we've never… you know. And he doesn't know. Please Esme, you can't tell him!" I suddenly begged. She couldn't tell him, he would hate me! This overshadowed the embarrassment I felt at talking about my sex life with my mother in law.

"Bella… I don't know if I can keep this a secret. I really need you to tell me more, Bella. Whose baby is it? And do you know how far along you are?" She asked again, pain splayed over her face, torn between telling Edward, her son, or keeping it a secret, helping her future daughter in law who just entrusted her with one of her biggest secrets.

"I'm actually not sure Esme. It would be a month I guess." My lip quivered, and I broke out in sobs. I needed to tell her the rest of the story, plus my other secret. But I still wasn't sure if I wanted her to know that. "Esme… I didn't," I gulped, I can't believe I'm about to openly talk about this.

"Esme, I didn't… ah… willingly… have sex with anyone." She gasped in shock. I only cried harder, looking down I took my hands back and wiped my face, rubbing my eyes as the tears flowed.

"Bella… you… were raped?" She slowly asked me. I could only nod my head, untrusting of my voice. If Esme could cry, I know that she would be.

"Bella, why wouldn't you tell us?" She asked sadly.

"I just couldn't Esme. I just couldn't." I said between sobs. Esme hugged me tighter.

"When did this happen? How..?" She asked, still in shock.

"Remember when I went to the movies with Angela?" I continued when she silently nodded, "Well, we were in the theater, and I'd left something in the car, I can't even remember what now. Angela insisted that she go with me, but I refused, I would be fine. Or so I thought. They were in the parking garage and… and… I was so scared Esme!" I stopped there, I couldn't go on. I leaned into her shoulder, breaking down once again.

"Oh Bella… We should have you checked out." She spoke.

"Esme, I can't go to a doctor in Forks! Word will get out. I can't. Can we go somewhere else?" I all but begged her. I really couldn't.

"Okay Bella, how about we go on a vacation for a little while? Just you and me, we'll go to New York until we have everything sorted out, what do you say?" I eagerly nodded yes. "Ok, we can leave in a couple of hours on a plane, pack everything you have here, I'll leave a note for the family, telling them we're just going on a trip, and it might be awhile, that you want to see the city. How does that sound?" Again, I nodded.

"Okay, do you want me to help you pack?" She asked, standing up.

"No, I'll be okay." I told her. I then walked to the guest room, which really was my room, grabbed a suitcase, and pack most of my stuff, which didn't take long. I took my time going down the stairs, but thankfully halfway down Esme came and carried both the suitcase and I to the garage. She walked up to her own car, a shadow grey colored Mercedes which matched Carlisles', and placed my suitcase next to hers in the trunk, before walking me to the passengers' side and making sure I was settled before running over to the drivers' door, and swiftly starting the car and pulling out of the garage. Soon, we were speeding down the highway to the airport.

A/N- Well you guys, what did you think? I hope you all liked it, and please leave a review if you did : ) see you next Wednesday, or maybe, just maybe sooner haha


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Hope you like the chapter guys! Please review, and also, I have a new story out, it's called What Happens In Arizona, it's on my profile, so check it out!**

**Before getting to the story, I want to say a big thank you to all of you, you're the reason that I'm writing this story.**

**Early chapter this week, I should be here Wednesday morning, but I might be going on a mini vacation to spend some time with my aunt and her family. If I have the next chapter done by Tuesday or Wednesday, I'll post it :) My cousins play softball, so hopefully I'll come back in one piece! I have a kind of sort of idea where the story is going, so should have pretty regular chapters for the meantime :) Love you all, **

**-J**

**I don't own Twilight.**

When I awoke, I was lying on a really soft bed. I assumed I was in New York. I rolled over, sitting up onto the edge of the bed. Suddenly, I felt someone sit down next to me. I looked over to see Esme. She put her arm around me and pulled me into a hug.

"Morning…"I muttered sheepishly. Esme stood up and walked to the window. Drawing the curtains, she said,

"Welcome to New York, Bella." Sitting down again, she continued, "I made a doctor appointment for you, this morning at ten. It's nine right now, so you should get ready, I'll make you something to eat ok?"

"Ok, thank you so much Esme. For everything, I mean." I shyly told her as she left the room. She turned and said,

"Anything for family, Bella." With that, she left. I stood, and took a quick shower, dressed and got ready. I felt like a shadow, I really didn't have any emotion, I was just numb. I stepped out of my room in fresh clothes, and saw a staircase. I went down slowly, as not to trip. The smell of bacon drifted up, and I followed it to a small kitchen, and I sat down at the small bar as Esme continued cooking.

I was staring down at my hands in thought as a plate piled with food was placed in front of me. I said a quiet thank you, picked up the fork and ate a few bites, but that was it, I pushed the food around on my plate after that, not having much of an appetite. After a while of this, Esme realized that I wasn't going to eat, and took my plate away, after asking of course, her and her politeness.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked me. I just nodded. We left the apartment, and Esme hailed a cab like nobody's business. She gave the driver minimal directions before turning to me. I could tell that she had something important to discuss with me, so I tried my best to look content.

"Bella… when we get there, the doctor is more than likely going to ask who the father is. What would you like to tell them?" I just looked at her for a minute.

If I were to tell them I was raped, I would probably be asked to press charges, and eventually word would get back to Forks. But if I told them that I just didn't know, that wouldn't look very good as far as my character goes. I didn't know what to do.

"I don't know Esme. What would you do if you were in my situation? She thought about that for a minute, before slowly answering:

"I… I probably would say I didn't know who the father was, and just ask them to leave it at that." I nodded my head solemly, and i decided to go with that.

"Okay, I think I'm going to do that." I told her, wishing I sounded more confident than I felt.

"Esme?"

"Yes Bella?"

"I hate to ask you this, but would you… umm… would you go in with me? I just really don't think I can do this alone…" I told her, hating to ask her to do this for me.

"Of course I will Bella." She replied, a comforting smile on her lips. I nodded in appreciation. We'd just reached the hospital; Esme paid the driver. I took a deep breath, and walked through the two doors.

~About an Hour Later~

The visit was mostly uneventful, they asked many questions and the exam was awful, I flipped out a few times, the memories flooding back, but I made it through; it helped that Esme never left my side. We were driving away from the hospital. The doctor had told us that the baby was healthy, and I was scheduled a follow visits every two weeks. I stared out the window, motionless. It took 20 minutes to get home, and once we stepped through the door, and Esme shut it, and faced me. I help my gaze to the ground.

"Bella, I wanted to ask you… How are you dealing with all of this?" She'd lifted my chin so I was forced to look at her. My eyes watered as I replied,

"I don't want a baby, Esme."


	8. NOT CHAPTER SUPER IMPORTANT PLEASE READ

Hey everyone, J here, I wanted to tell you, I am changing the rating to M tonight, so if you are looking for the story in the search section, you need to change the rating level to find it :) The next few chapters aren't the happiest. I am going to incorporate Bella's problem, if you're concerned about reading it until you know what it is, pm me, but I don't want to leave spoilers for everyone who wants to be surprised. I've finished almost 3 more chapters for you, not sure when I'll post, when do you think I should? ;)


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys, so I hope you are all liking the story so far. So we know that Bella's pregnant, but she doesn't want the baby. I already know how I'm going to write this, I know some of you might not like it, but it seemed like the best solution to take the plot where I want to. It will not be in this chapter, but I will leave an A/N at the top of that chapter letting you know when it is. I really appreciate the reviews you leave, they urge me to keep on writing! I was actually considering putting in more of Bella's issues, but as of now, I don't think I will incorporate that idea, because some of you might not like it, and I want to make as many of you happy as I can. If any of you have suggestions on the story, please PM me or leave a review J I really love writing for y'all, it's great to hear how you all love the story. I hope you all are having a good week, I'd like to thank rachelcullenedwardcullen for her betaing on the story, she's been so patient with my chapters : ) **

**One last thing before I begin, you reading this, you're beautiful just how you are, okay? Remember that 3**

**I don't own twilight, and I'm pretty sad about that little fact L**

All she could do was hug me, and tell me everything would be okay.

"No Esme, really, I don't want to have a child. I'm not ready for this!" I cried.

"Oh Bella, I know that you can do it. Would you rather have Edward come out here so he can help you?" she kindly asked.

"NO! Edward can't know Esme! He'd hate me!" I was full out sobbing into her shoulder by now.

"Edward would never hate you Bella. I think that he would hate himself because you think that he could ever hate you." I just shook my head at her, Esme continued, "Well, would you be okay telling Carlisle? He's a doctor…" she trailed off. Again, I shook my head in tears, before gasping out,

"No… I.. I'd have to tell.. tell him what happened… I can't…" I choked out. It was now I finally realized I was sitting on a couch in Esmes' arms.

"Bella, you know that Carlisle will understand. No one else has to know, we can just have Carlisle come out here, I would feel better knowing that you had him as your doctor." I considered this.

"No one else would know?" I asked.

"No one." She promised. Slowly, I shook my head. Think of Carlisle, something occurred to me. I bolted straight up in my seat in shock.

"Esme! What about Charlie? What did you tell him?" I was panicking.

"Bella, I told him that I was taking you shopping in New York, and to look at colleges. What would you like to tell him?" I thought for a minute. Well telling him I died would be the best solution. Well, maybe not best, but easiest. I mentioned this to her, and she nodded her head solemnly, and told me,

"If that's really what you want to do, then that's what we'll do. I can call him now if you'd like. I'll make up the story too. It's going to be okay Bella. I'm going to go call Carlisle and Charlie, okay?" I nodded my head, more tears surfacing.

Thoughts of the starts of the conversation came flooding back, and I was openly sobbing again. I really didn't want to have a baby, I wasn't ready, and the thought of kids never appealed to me. I didn't want to have a child. These thoughts were overtaking me until Esme returned, which seemed to take forever, and I was having a full out panic attack. She helped me calm down, which wasn't easy. Once I was breathing easier, I could tell there was something she had to say.

"I called Carlisle, but I didn't tell him why we're here, just that he needs to move out here for a while. He's sending everyone else to the Denalis' for the time being. As for Charlie… I talked to him. He's taking it alright, which is pretty surprising."

I only nodded my head, I couldn't trust my voice. But when Esme tried to tell me more about her conversation with Charlie, I shook my head, my eyes pleading for her to stop. I couldn't deal with hearing this. I would have another panic attack.

For what seemed like forever, but an amazing forever, we sat on the couch. Eventually, I stood up, walking to the kitchen. I assumed Esme was behind me. I looked though the fridge and cupboards, but didn't see anything that I wanted, or at least nothing I wanted to cook. I took a heavy sigh, and walked back upstairs to what I assumed was my room; Esme stayed in the kitchen. A thought occurred to me then.

"Esme?" I called curiously.

"Yes Bella?" she was at my side then, and I slightly flinched.

" So, now that I'm dead, does that mean I can't go back to that hospital?" She laughed, saying,

"I guess not! But Carlisle is coming out, he should be here tomorrow, so everything will be okay. Are you going to take a nap?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking…" I trailed off. Esme nodded and turned toward the door at human speed. I stopped her before she closed the door.

"Esme? I know it's stupid, but… would… would you stay with me? The nightmares have been getting to me lately…" I truthfully told her, embarrassed.

"Of course I will Bella," She said, coming back to lay under the covers with me, and she embraced me, starting to hum a lullaby. I was out pretty quickly after that.

**A/N: I wanted to end on a subtle note, didn't feel like tripping you up with a cliffhanger today ;) I hope you liked the chapter, and please leave a review J Thanks you guys!**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N- Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted a chapter in awhile, I've been out of town. I'll make this short, I hope you like the chapter J**

**I don't own Twilight.**

True to her word, when I awoke, Esme was there, still humming softly. Immediately she noticed I was awake, asking,

"How did you sleep?"

"The best in months," I told her. I heard a knock at the bedrooms' door and was suddenly filled with fear. I turned into Esmes' side, whimpering.

"Bella, Bella, it's okay, it's just Carlisle." She quietly said come in, and in a second I felt Carlisle sit down onto the opposite side of the bed.

"Hey you two! Will you tell me now why you left so suddenly?" He asked, genuine curiosity. I knew that he didn't know what'd happened, otherwise he wouldn't have been so nonchalant about it, but I still started softly crying. I could hear a vampire-speed conversation going on, which lasted about three seconds.

"Bella, do you want to tell Carlisle, or would you like me to?" Esme asked me, I could tell she'd understand if I asked her to tell him.

"Could you please?" I asked in a small voice.

"Sure," She replied. And she started from the weekend when I told her, until Carlisle walking through the door. I think both of them would've been crying if they could. Carlisle came over and hugged me, but I still flinched. I felt bad for it, but I couldn't help it.

I wish I could've frozen that moment, stayed there forever. But my stomach had other ideas.

"Oh, you're probably hungry, aren't you?" Esme asked me.

"Yeah," I admitted to her, " But I want to take a shower before I eat."

"Okay, we'll be downstairs Bella," Carlisle told me as they walked out of the room. I found my suitcase after Esme had moved it. I took my toiletries out, along with a change of sweats and a t-shirt. I walked into the bathroom; it was enormous. There were Jack and Jill sinks, what had to be a 5 foot long shower, and on top of that, it was exquisitely decorated.

I found the towels under the sink, and grabbed one, placing it on the mat outside the shower. I put my clothes on the sink, and opened my bag. I brushed through my hair until it was as smooth as silk and knot-free, and proceeded to take out the shower stuff. It took me a minute to figure out how to turn on the water, but it was actually really simple. I turned it to around a medium heat, and put my toiletries on the showers' ledge, and put my old clothes in the hamper by the door, and felt the water afterwards. It was warm enough, so I stepped in. The water was nice, but it needed to be hotter. I sat down on the floor of the shower under the water, and kept turning it up until it was almost at full heat, I just couldn't stand it anymore. I sat there hugging my knees, and once my thoughts wandered away from the shower, I thought about everything that was happening. I just started bawling again. Why did this have to happen to me? I sat like this for the better part of an hour, surprisingly the hot water never ran out. Eventually, I was glad when it happened, I forgot, just for a second why I was crying so much, and stood up, getting on with everything, it took me a long time to get my hair and body washed, and by the end I'd been in the shower so long I decided to just decided to shave my legs. I lathered up with shaving cream, and got through the first let no problem, I was trying to be extra careful. I got to the second leg, and that's when things went bad. I got to my knee, and one minute I was fine, the next there was blood running down my leg. I panicked, remembering I was in a house of vampires. I don't know what to do, I thought. That's a lot of blood. I tried to cover up the smell, saturating the cut with shower gel and washing the blood down the drain. There was suddenly a knock at the door.

"Bella, it's Carlisle. Are you alright?" He asked me, I could feel his concerned look through the door.

"Um, I'm alright for the time being." I told him.

"Bella, I can smell a lot of blood, what happened?" He questioned.

"I just cut myself shaving, no big deal."

"Bella, can I come see it, I want to make sure you don't need stiches." He said.

"No! I'm… in the shower!" I practically yelled, exasperated.

"I am a doctor, Bella." He bluntly replied.

"I'll show you when I get out, and am dressed." I said, standing up and washing my legs off before toweling off. I dressed quickly, and wrapped my hair in a towel. My leg was still bleeding, which worried me. It wasn't bleeding nearly as much, but still. I didn't bother putting a band aid on it; Carlisle would just take it off anyway. I hobbled outside the door, and Carlisle was sitting on my bed, which annoyed me, because he didn't trust me that I could walk downstairs before being examined by a doctor for something I've done dozens of times before.

He quickly assessed my knee, and gently placed a band aid onto it after wiping it with something to stop the bleeding, and prevent the smell from affecting Esme. Once everything was done, which couldn't have taken more than three minutes, I walked down the stairs and outside, sitting on the front steps of the apartment; lost in thought.

**A/N- I love the reviews by the way. More! What did you guys think? I think I'm going to leave a cliff hanger in the next chapter :D**


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